disappointed


disappointed

it was too much to hope
that someone could knead
my aching shoulders and back
after the day I had at work.

nearly melted from the heat
from the crush of customers,
my ears still ringing from the
overwhelming pandemonium.

so I stood in the shower,
head hung low in defeat,
while the pounding water
cleansed my aches instead.

©ย Bridget Noonan, 2011.

This is why I shouldn’t write poetry after a long day while feeling shitty. I get all morose.

Inspired by the prompt at Three Word Wednesday

Advertisements

16 Comments

Filed under Poetry

16 responses to “disappointed

  1. I worked retail a couple of times; I know that poem exactly. You succeeded in capturing the attitude very well.

  2. A shower is a great antidote to a shitty day..hope it helped..Jae

  3. Bridget, first off, found you at my blog, and thanks. Also, as a proud PFLAG mom and activist since the 80s, I loved your “about me.” Sophisticated as fuck, I’m dying here! (And a pastor’s wife as that… but years in jazz before any of THAT malarkey took over!)

    I looked at the 3WW and thought BREAD. Couldn’t see past it. Thank God for you and your mind. I’m gonna go take an achingly hot shower right now. Maybe even a bubble bath! Thanks for a lovely read, and I hope you will come visit me. Amy
    http://sharplittlepencil.wordpress.com/2011/04/21/cobalt-blue-bottle-day-21-2/

    • Thanks for the great comment Amy! My first thought was bread, then massage, and then I went, what is as comforting as warm bread but soothing as a massage? And this is what came out. Ooooh bubble bath. Throw a duckie in there! hee.

      Haha! Yeah, I think I need to use the phrase sophisticated as fuck in a poem some time, because it describes me so well: erudite and rude, mingling to create something weird and wonderful. ๐Ÿ˜€

      I’d just like to say I love the poetry I’ve seen on your blog. I left a comment for Cobalt Blue Bottle. What a great take on the prompt!

  4. For three years I worked in country South Australia in hot dry dusty conditions and there was nothing better than to return to my accommodation to unwind under a shower. You poem captured that feeling so well.

    • Thank you! I’m glad you liked it, and that it spoke to you.
      I find the best antidote for a stressful or long day is a nice shower. If it’s been a really rough day, I throw on some obnoxiously loud metal or punk music and let them scream out my frustration. It saves my lungs, haha.

      I loved “Designs”. I’m not a parent (let alone grandparent, heh) but it was really cool to see that side of things. That helped me understand a little better why people would want to be a part of that sometimes crazy world of bringing up kids. ๐Ÿ™‚

  5. The only thing better than a hot shower after a day like that, is sharing that hot shower with a special someone…

    Anyway, the poem has a very nice downhill flow to it, and it says so much with so few words. Great work.

    • Thus the title! If I had a lady to knead my shoulders after a long day at work, I can almost guarantee you that I wouldn’t have written this poem haha. Disappointment can follow on many heels, not just the customer service job’s.

      Thank you for your feedback ๐Ÿ˜€ I’m glad you liked it. I wanted to capture the steam on the mirror, getting clipped by shopping carts, screaming brats mucking about, the weight of disappointed hopes on shoulders… But I like this length best, because if I’d bitched and moaned for twenty stanzas about the day, it wouldn’t have the same impact.

  6. earlybird

    Good poem – I can identify with all of that. (my first thought was bread/food but I ended up with massage too)

  7. Morose can make for a good poem, like this one. A good take on those three words and a feeling captured well. I know I’ve had days like that.

    Richard

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s