Past Regrets, or Shy


I find it’s helpful to write down things that have bothered me from the past. Just to help exorcise a particular memory’s hold on me, or pin down exactly why it still …aches in bad weather, is the best analogy I have. So here’s one that I wrote after reading this poem.

Past Regrets 

There was a time
when all I thought about was
you.
I dreamed and wished,
hoped and begged for
you to look up and notice
me.

I,
too shy to speak,
would never say the
reasons for my intense
scrutiny of your face,
your hands, your laugh.

The reasons would
surely
have alienated
you-

Right?

Regret at inaction
tastes
much worse
than regret at action.

© Bridget Noonan, 2011.

Past Regrets is a working title that will likely be changed. Suggestions? I’m thinking something long and pretentious, and more than a little bit gay. Like, Same-Sex Stirrings at Secondary School, or something equally alliterative. Not that I was exactly thinking of high school while writing this. Rather more recent. But still. Maybe, Lover Dares Not Speak Her Name.

…haha, all of the things I’m thinking of sound like the titles of really terrible lesbian erotica written by fourteen year-old girls.  Okay time to stop this stream-of-consciousness nonsense before I mention any more. Soon I’ll have to put some kind of mature content warning on my blog, which would be just tragic.

Maybe I’ll just call it Shy.

Advertisements

6 Comments

Filed under Poetry

6 responses to “Past Regrets, or Shy

  1. Too bad Handsome Woman From the Hamptons would not apply, LOL.

    This was very sweet but sad. All young folks have their shyness, but LGBTQ teens have that extra layer of “toe in the water.” It’s not like the old, “Are you a friend of Dorothy” days, is it?

    Final stanza is a knockout. Loved this. Amy
    http://sharplittlepencil.wordpress.com/2011/04/23/reflections-on-laundry/

    • Yeah, nobody knows the lingo anymore, because we aren’t being forced to hide, but… at the same time, bemused tolerance isn’t the same as acceptance.

      😀 I wrote the last part first because I knew it had to be in there- I’m a pretty big advocate of “just go for it” now. I really don’t like wondering what would have happened had I just grown a pair of ovaries and done something. (when it comes to love, or life in general)

      Besides, even if things go terribly wrong, I’ve found the best medicine is laughing at it (or myself) later.

  2. chaosdreaming

    FORMAT. THIS. LOVE.

    ..I am trying a more Latin approach to my sentence structure, what do you think?

    • Haha, I think that it definitely gets the point across!

      Thanks Tiff.

      (your posts are le password protected!- do I need a special password, or just my wordpress one?)

  3. Bee, I enjoyed reading this. However you took it differently than my intent, maybe I failed in my telling 🙂
    Mine was of yearning yet the other one is already taken. Yours, show more yearning and if it is the case, and the other is free, I too would say doggone it, go for it 🙂

    I read this recently written by Paulo Coelho “As I don’t know about tomorrow, I never save the best for later” So hell yeah runnnnnnnn with it…

    I would rather ask then wonder later 🙂

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s