Engaged


I wrote this for Three Word Wednesday. This week’s words were grin, jumble and naked.

Engaged

he strides the beach with
a joyful bounce in his step,
nervous grin upon his face and
a small velvet box in his pocket

he reminds himself not to
mumble through his speech,
jumble the careful phrases
or sweat too much-

she loves him, and he knows
she is going to say yes
but he wants it to be
perfection for them both

he remembers that she walks
this stretch of beach on Tuesdays
after work, and wants to surprise
his love at her favourite spot

and surprise her he does
with a high cry of dismay,
naked as the day she was born
wrapped up in a coworker.

© Bridget Noonan, 2011.

I have done much better.
For one thing, the title is too punny. And there’s not enough buildup. The whole thing feels cliche. I need to get the emotion to come across more strongly. Ugh.
UNsatisfied with my work this weekend, as you might have guessed.

I am continuing work on not expecting instant perfection though. Dealing with disappointment in my writing is very difficult when I feel like butter scraped over too much bread even before I go to work, let alone after. My frustration with my shitty retail job mounts because spring is back and it reminded me that not everything is cold concrete, idiots and ear-bleeding noise. Things could be warm, genial and quiet if I spent less time there. Can’t afford to, though. Which rather adds to the frustration. I don’t deal well with feeling trapped.

So I mean, I might be full of shit and this poem might be decent, but I can’t tell. I don’t even know any more. Too disappointed with myself, frustrated by …everything, and too trapped in a crap job I hate in a town with very few jobs (that I am qualified for, at any rate) that aren’t the same shit just in a different pile.

I’m tired of running in place.

Advertisements

4 Comments

Filed under Poetry

4 responses to “Engaged

  1. I was surprised at the end I thought it was going to be all sweet and romantic lol

  2. Bee, you got me there. I didn’t see that jumble coming (uh, no pun intended)!

    About your commentary: I’m gonna say this once. Or twice, if you keep beating yourself up. I know all about working shit jobs – as a singer, I also waitressed, sold cell phones, worked at a deathtrap HMO, anything to keep food on the table and jeans on my kid. But this outlet you have, this talent, these are your wings. They will take you far.

    If you are not in a family or otherwise attached, check out all of us – find out where we live and move THERE! Seriously. I just moved to Madison, WI, and it’s like heaven. I had no idea we would ever escape the small town we were in until Lex found this amazing church to pastor.

    I traveled cross-country alone (to take a car to my girl Riley), and along the way, I stayed overnight at the invitation of THREE different (female) poet friends whom I had only known online. We all love you and I’ll bet, if you network a bit, you’ll find something good.

    I’m 54. I’ve seen a lot. And my best days are still ahead of me. I know the same is true for you, honey, so don’t beat yourself up over today. Let’s think about TOMORROW! Much love, Amy
    http://sharplittlepencil.wordpress.com/2011/05/31/twofer-limerick-and-love-poem/

    • I’m helping my mom out by living here and paying a bit of rent- or I think I might pick up and move. I do have plans for the future (plumbing apprenticeship! very exciting), but I want to take a bit of a road trip this summer. Wisconsin is closer to me than Nova Scotia, which was where I was thinking of travelling. I bet I could plan a sweet route and crash on a bunch of couches as I travel. My sister’s moving to Oregon soon too; I could make a big trip out there and back.

      This week was a bit of a breaking point for me. I forgot my priorities and let myself get bogged down by other people’s shit. I know I can get through the crappy parts and finally be the warrior-poet-plumber-librarian-carpenter-author-musician I have always wanted to be :). The only thing I’m having trouble with is waiting until I have enough money to start my pre-apprenticeship training at my local trade college. (and I have been told there are oodles of my fellow lesbians there! 😀 which is wicked)

      Thank you for the encouragement, momma!
      Love, Bee

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s